DEAR MISS MANNERS - When my daughter got married eight years ago, my brother, his wife and five children came cross-country to be at the wedding. My daughter had wanted an evening, formal reception with no children.
I thought it rude, however, that after my brother's sacrifice of time and much money to be at her wedding, she would not consider having my nieces and nephews there. So, my daughter acceded to my wishes and allowed the children to attend the reception.
This May, one of those children is getting married. My daughter, her husband and three children were planning to attend the wedding. Then we found out that no children are invited to the reception - because if all the children of the guests were invited, it would be chaos and expensive.
These are the same reasons my daughter didn't want children at her wedding. My daughter feels the bride should do the same for her.
She feels that her three children should be allowed to attend the reception simply to reciprocate the good will my daughter showed her family.
GENTLE READER - Your daughter had specific reasons for not wanting children at her wedding reception, and was embarrassed afterward because some were allowed and others not. So she discounts her cousin's having the same reasons, and feels that she should risk the same embarrassment.
Miss Manners does not care for that argument that the bride's childhood appearance created a debt that must now be paid. If your daughter is going to plead for an exception, she would be better advised to gush to the bride about how delightful it was to have children at her wedding and reminisce about how beautiful and well mannered they were.
lenona321@yahoo.com wrote in news:1155472763.650455.9760 @p79g2000cwp.googlegroups.com:
DEAR MISS MANNERS - When my daughter got married eight years ago, my> brother, his wife and five children came cross-country to be at the> wedding. My daughter had wanted an evening, formal reception with no> children.>
I thought it rude, however, that after my brother's sacrifice of time> and much money to be at her wedding, she would not consider having my> nieces and nephews there. So, my daughter acceded to my wishes and> allowed the children to attend the reception.>
This May, one of those children is getting married. My daughter, her> husband and three children were planning to attend the wedding. Then we> found out that no children are invited to the reception - because if> all the children of the guests were invited, it would be chaos and> expensive.>
These are the same reasons my daughter didn't want children at her> wedding.> My daughter feels the bride should do the same for her.
Wait a minute, the daughter's wedding was only 8 years ago, right? Either this bride was a really immature adolescent then (isn't 10 usually old enough to sulk quietly instead of causing chaos?), or is really young to have a wedding now...
In most cultures there is usually at least one child in the entourage - the flower girl. Mainly though, weddings are an adult affair. It can be quite boring for kids... Thanks for sharing!
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